The Rose
by Moonchild10
Summary: *** Angsty later on. Devi hates Nny unbearably, and shuts out all other emotions. But what if her hate gets to a violent point? The rose isn't a flower, it's something else red. *Finished*
1. O d i u m

Disclaimer: I own nothing Jhonen Vasquez.  
  
This is a story about Devi's hatred for Johnny, and it ends up in a little bit more of a morbid way than one would guess, considering my past writings. . rating may change soon.depending on where this goes in the future. Devi's feelings of anger may get a little out of hand. She's not as forgiving toward Nny as in most of my stories. As with most of my fanfiction, I have no idea how it will end up, and I'm not making any plans. This fic is WAY different from most of the rest of mine.  
  
Chapter One:  
  
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She looked up over the rim of her book, scanning the silent bookstore. She could scarcely distinguish the black of the hair on his head from the darkness of the bookstore (she'd switched off the lights to suit her gloomy mood), but she sensed that he was there. And it made her furious, her heart burning with a potent and poisoning anger that finished her eyes slit into angry slits of fire. She could feel him watching her, and she could almost touch the sorrow radiating off of his irregularly skeletal form when he deciphered the abhorrence in her gaze. He moved a little farther back into the bookstore, watching her in spite of everything with a look of yearning in his brown eyes. It did not touch a chord in Devi's by now hardened heart.  
  
She no longer felt threatened or paranoid when she saw him, she was no longer fearful for her life, and she no longer worried about his obvious insanity. All she felt was odium (that's hatred, I like using uncommon words) for him now. And in her every pore she felt the strong, undeniable desire to watch him bleed, watch him die, watch him squirm in pain, calling to her for help while she only laughed at his hurt. She knew it was cruel, after how kind he'd been to her at first, but she had shut these feelings of regret for her malicious feelings and come to feel quite numb at best. Numbness was the best thing she could feel currently, she would rather feel dead than have to deal with all the emotions she knew she was denying, like how maybe she was being to hard on him. But she didn't consider that she was being to hard on him, after what he'd tried to do.  
  
She shuddered.  
  
He'd tried to murder her.  
  
She felt as though she somehow needed revenge in a small, malevolent spot in her heart, but it was only because of the anger she felt for him now. She could look into his wounded eyes and feel nothing further than the utmost loathing, no pity spared. It scared her slightly, the kind person she'd once been considered had dripped away into the fires of her hate for Johnny. Oh, if only he would die, she thought with a small smile. She imagined the thought of Johnny dead, and her smile widened. She couldn't wait until the day he finally..  
  
No, no that was just plain cruel. She could REALLY hate him that much, could she?  
  
Oh yes, she could. Perhaps she detested him even more than she had at first believed. She'd never been a very hateful creature, until his attempt on her life.  
  
She reached up and tweaked her violet pigtail nervously, realizing just how out of hand her hatred for this young man was going. She needed to leave the bookstore. She stood from her stool and walked out of the store, not bothering to lock up.  
  
Fuck the bitch-assed bookstore. Somebody else could lock it up later.  
  
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If you are a fan of nice, sweet, gentle stories, you will not like this one.  
  
More soon.  
  
-Moonchild 


	2. R e g r e s s i o n

Disclaimer: must I really say?  
  
I don't want anyone to be mislead here, so I'll say this now, no matter how this may start to seem, the whole attitude for the story remains the same. Devi may end up giving Nny another chance at some point, only to probably have everything fall apart once and for all. I love messing things up. Well, here we go with chapter two. I'm in a bad writing slump today, so this chapter may be redone in the future. All the chapters are pretty short, just to warn you. The story's probably pretty short too.  
  
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Devi reached her apartment several minutes later, slamming into her living room and throwing herself down on the sofa in despair, her anger at Johnny still at full force. She heard a whisper from the other room, and she rose to her feet and walked slowly into her 'painting room', glaring in pure hatred at the painting of the little demonic doll, Sickness, standing on the easel before her.  
  
"Ahh, Devi. Back again from yet another day. Trying to keep your life afloat," Sickness said, a macabre fluffiness about her voice. (don't ask how)  
  
"I thought you fizzled out," Devi snarled, glaring at the doll painting in revulsion.  
  
"Come now Devi, I will not be beaten by you so easily. I told you things would be much easier if you didn't try, and now look where you are. So low in your delusion that your paranoia has relinquished," Sickness said in a singsong voice.  
  
"What delusion?" Devi asked callously, clenching her palms together.  
  
"Your feelings; you hide behind your hate for all humans rather than excepting all that is thrown at you," Sickness said, trying to strike Devi with reality's harsh whip. She felt nothing.  
  
"Shut up you motherfucking homo-whore," Devi hissed. Sickness gave a rare smile.  
  
"Always resorting to sacrilege, aren't we Devi? So human. The only proof left that you are indeed alive," Sickness snickered.  
  
"Leave me alone Sickness. I don't know what possessed me to even create you. You're not worth my time," Devi growled. Sickness feigned hurt.  
  
"Come now dear, you don't really feel that way. I am life for you," Sickness said, sneering.  
  
"You're not life! Shut the hell up! I have a life!" Devi screamed, moving to leave the room.  
  
"The only life you have left is hating that dark haired faggot," Sickness said, grinning nastily. Devi ignored her and left the room. She stomped to the door and left her apartment once more.  
  
*/*/* 


	3. R e g r e t

Disclaimer: you know.  
  
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He left the bookstore as soon as her divine form exited. He walked slowly down the street, not sure where he was going. Around half an hour passed. He was wandering aimlessly when suddenly he saw someone in front of him. He made a move to go around them, but they were moving very fast and collided with him straight on, sending him flying into the gutter. He sat up, wounded slightly but not bleeding. He shook his head several times, blinked, and saw Devi sitting on the ground in front of him, rubbing her head.  
  
"Dev-De-Devi?" he stammered, so shaken off balance at her nearness to him. He could have reached out a hand and touched her easily. But he wouldn't have dared. He watched her expectantly. She looked back at him for a second with those emerald green eyes. There was look of something like regret in those eyes, but suddenly they narrowed in fury and she leaped to her feet rather unsteadily and backed away from him, glaring in pure hatred at his form. All his hope vanished and he looked at his feet, surprised at the hot little tears that burned his eyelids, but he did not allow to fall.  
  
"I thought I told you to keep the hell away from me, you little fuck!" she snarled loudly, just to hurt him. She knew he hadn't run into her on purpose, but she wanted to make him cry if possible. She just wanted to see him hurt. He looked up at her from where he sat in the drain, a wounded look in his dark eyes. But he couldn't let it get to him  
  
"Nice to see you again too, Devi," he said, and with that he stood up delicately and slipped his slim hands into his pockets. He stood still and stared at her while she glared at him in pure detestation and then she turned gracefully and walked away into the darkness. Nny gathered his repose once more and headed off toward the 24/7.  
  
*/*/*  
  
He opened the door to house 777 and ambled inside, stretching his limbs as he headed for the moth eaten sofa. He flopped down, cherry freezy in hand, and stared off into space as he sipped it. Once more, as he allowed himself to think, his mind filled with shame at what he'd tried to do to Devi on their first date. He lowered his head slightly in a gesture of disgrace and dropped his face into his hand. He set his freezy on the floor by the couch and released his head into his hands, massaging his temples.  
  
"Oh Devi," he mumbled to himself. He felt so rotten for trying to kill her. She was the first human he'd sincerely allowed himself to love, and then he'd had to do something like that. He knew he owed her a proper apology, but it seemed that every time he tried to get near to her she ran away.  
  
Maybe it would be different if he tried now. She was no longer afraid of him. She hated him with passion, yes, but she was no longer afraid, and no longer ran when she saw him. She'd actually said a few words to him tonight, and her voice held no fear, only sarcasm and repugnance. Sure, it was still painful, but not as painful as the old look of fear that she'd once gotten when she beheld him. It had made him feel so helpless. Like there was nothing he could do to make her life a bit easier.  
  
He had to try. Just had to try. He would experiment with his luck tomorrow, he would go to Devi's house in pursuit of easing his conscience.  
  
*/*/*  
  
Look for the next chapter as soon as I'm off my lazy ass again and actually writing it...probably tomorrow. 


	4. A t t e m p t

Disclaimer: I don't own Jhonen Vasquez.  
  
Reviews are much appreciated. Just let me know you're reading this if you want.  
  
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The next evening, Nny paused outside Devi's apartment. He gulped, and knocked on the door. After a few minutes, he heard the locks coming undone, and the door opened. Devi's face peeked out, a hateful look on it just for whoever dared interrupt whatever she was doing. She saw him, and the odium in her eyes increased considerably.  
  
"Devi...don't shut the door on me. I came to talk to you."  
  
"About what?" Devi asked, opening the door the rest of the way.  
  
"About trying to kill you. I want to apologize."  
  
"Oh really?" Devi asked, still looking hateful. She glared at him. He shivered at the coldness her eyes held.  
  
"Yes. I'm so sorry Devi. You have to understand."  
  
"I'm not even going to TRY to understand you, Nny."  
  
"But I-"  
  
"Nny, you should just leave. I really don't want to talk to you."  
  
"But-"  
  
"No."  
  
"OK then," Nny mumbled. But he WAS going to get another chance to make her understand. Suddenly in one smooth motion he leaped forward and grabbed the back of Devi's neck, his fingers closing on just the right spot and he squeezed as hard as he could (this part is inaccurate but if Devi had time to fight Nny off she definitely would) and before she had time even to react she passed out. Nny caught her carefully and lifted her limp body in his arms. He carried her off.  
  
*/*/*  
  
Nny reached her house a short time later. He carried Devi down to his basement, where he made Devi 'comfortable' for her stay.  
  
When Devi awoke, the first thing she was aware of was cold metal against her wrists and ankles. Manacles. She opened her eyes. She was hanging from the wall of a basement. Nny stood before her. She looked down at him, since her eyes were a few inches above his because she was hanging a little ways up on the wall. She struggled against the metal that bound her. But it was no use. She was trapped. She glared at Nny. He looked her up and down. Her purplish-brown duster was stained with blood from when he'd dragged her across his floor. She looked terrified and angry at the same time.  
  
"Nny, why did you do this?" Devi asked, her voice both desperate and unbearable to Nny. He looked down at his black boots, slightly bloodstained now (he'd have to clean those) and said nothing.  
  
"Oh lord Devi I'm sorry," he scratched.  
  
"Sorry isn't good enough. You'd better let me down from this wall or I'll-"  
  
"You can't do anything, Devi. You're bound with steel," Nny said rather unpleasantly.  
  
"Nny..please let me go," Devi said quietly, her voice miserable. Nny looked guilty and miserable as well. He moved over to her and slipped his arms around her, an apologetic hug. She turned her head away from his for a moment, but she found it painful to her neck and finally allowed her head to drop onto his shoulder. He shook slightly, trying to hold in his tears of remorse, and succeeded in holding them back. Despite the nerve-racking situation, Devi couldn't help notice that for a homicidal maniac his hair did have a rather nice scent to it. And then she mentally stabbed herself for thinking anything of the sort.  
  
"Devi I ask for forgiveness. I know it's out of the question, but it never hurts to ask."  
  
Devi hung there limply. She said nothing of his comment. And then she thought of something. Something Sickness had said this morning..something about freeing yourself by getting rid of what ailed you..and she couldn't easily get rid of Sickness. And suddenly somehow she knew what to do.  
  
"Nny, can you free my hands, please?"  
  
"I'm afraid that I can't let you go."  
  
"Just my hands Nny. I won't get away," Devi said, looking at him as innocently as she could, trying to mask her hatred for a moment.  
  
"I suppose just letting your hands free wouldn't hurt anything," Nny mumbled. Devi cheered herself on in her mind. She was getting out of this mess once and for all. All she had to do was play it calm. Act like she didn't hate him. And soon she would be free.  
  
*/*/*  
  
Another chapter will be up soon. 


	5. P l o t t i n g

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.  
  
A few short notices before we start.  
  
First of all, I would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for your reviews so far. I am very proud of my reviewers. It makes me feel all fluffy inside. Yay.  
  
I thank janey-the suicidal maniac, who says she will get along just fine with this, and I am glad. A fan of rough bitter stories? That is a good thing here. This story is the most bitter feeling one I have ever written, and I think it is pretty much an express- ant for my anger at a guy in my life. It's not what you think, but I'm pretty hateful toward him at this point.  
  
I thank Lovely Daughter of Darkness also. Calling this slick and well written? This makes me quite pleased. I try hard to make my writing something that people will read, and I love having people just like it. Knowing that someone thinks your story is well written is a nice feeling, isn't it?  
  
I would like to thank Rocksha for the long review explaining the problems with this. I love it when people point my mistakes out kindly instead of doing it in flames, because I generally don't listen to flames, and when people point out my errors humanely, I take their suggestions to mind. I will take the things Rocksha said to mind, but I'm not going to change anything about my style no matter what anyone says, because I like it just fine. So thanks. And thanks especially for the tip on synonyms. I know many synonyms for hatred (knowing synonyms is a hobby of mine) I just like the sound of odium because it sounds like some sort of truth serum or something. I love that word. Hee.  
  
I am also going to point out that I am in a 'I hate everything' mood, so this is not going to be a pleasant fic. It has a few more chapters to it, and it will end up just the way I've been planning. I love the way this is going, because the whole idea just gives me a dark feeling when I think of it. I don't know why. I love that feeling. I love getting people's hopes up for something nice, and then taking it all away again. I am sorry, but I love to change people's minds. Well, OK, let's start this chapter now. I'm getting tired of this rambling.  
  
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Nny, still looking a little nervous about her escaping, unlocked the manacles on Devi's wrists. She dug her nails into the plaster of the wall to keep from tipping forward on him, as she was still bound by her ankles. Nny backed away from her a little, but not fast enough. She slumped on him.  
  
"You know Nny, you should really just unlock the whole thing, or else I'm just going to have to keep leaning on you," Devi said, keeping the loathing out of her voice, trying to make a good point. This was true, and she knew it.  
  
"But I-"  
  
"Do you really want to stand there all night?" Devi asked him. Nny thought about that for a minute. 'I wouldn't mind' he thought.  
  
"You're right, I can't just stand here. Hold onto the wall for a minute," Nny said, moving toward the door after she dug her nails back into the plaster. He slammed the door and locked knob, dropping the key into his pocket. Then he returned to Devi. "Alright, I'll unlock your shackles, but don't kick me again, OK? That hurts really fucking bad," Nny said.  
  
"I won't."  
  
"You have to promise," Nny said fiercely, looking at her sternly.  
  
"OK, I promise."  
  
"And if you break your promise, I'll kill you," Nny found himself saying, a rather violent edge to his voice. Devi glared at him again, forgetting her act of innocence.  
  
"You wouldn't," she said, her voice shaking.  
  
"You sincerely believe that I wouldn't kill you?" Nny asked, pulling a knife out of his pocket. Devi fought back a scream.  
  
"OK OK Nny I promise I won't kick you," she said quickly, regaining a little of her old fear of him but burying it quickly. Nny threw the knife to the floor (note: remember where the knife is for future reference, kids!) and walked cautiously back to her, leaning down and unlocking the restraints on her ankles. She let go of the wall and slid to her feet. She wanted to kick him like hell. But she remembered her promise..and what he'd do.  
  
Now, she just had to somehow carry out her plan so she could escape..and be free of Sickness and Nny all at once. (I bet nobody knows exactly what she's gonna do)  
  
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OK, much shortness. But more will proceed, soon.  
  
Note to Rocksha: "Oh lord Devi I'm sorry," Nny scratched. He 'scratched' this because his voice was scratchy, and I liked the sound of 'scratched' better than 'said in a scratchy voice'. Also, when Nny stuttered on saying Devi, it was based on how one of my friends said her name at a sleepover at around 3:30 AM. She was all tired and stuttering on everything. I happened to get this particular display on video, also. Heh. 


	6. I n s a n i t y

Disclaimer: Pheh.  
  
OK, here's the next chapter. Probably the last. Expect the most shortness.  
  
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Nny sat down on the floor, and Devi sank down beside him. Her eyes flickered over the knife that sat only a few inches from her hand. She hated him. She had to kill him.  
  
But she loved him, and she wanted to kiss him.  
  
Everything was sort of churning inside her mind. Two sides, both trying to pull them to their will. Agg! And in the end, Devi started to shake.  
  
"Er..are you ok?" Nny asked Devi.  
  
"Grumph..." she muttered. Nny looked confused.  
  
And then Devi let both sides take over, leaning over and kissing Nny's lips while her hands groped blindly for the knife. She grabbed it and felt around for Nny's arms. She picked up first one, then the other, sightlessly. And then she slit both of his wrists.  
  
She pulled away from him, looking down at his bleeding wrists. She felt full of regret, and full of oy at the same time at the sight of his blood pouring free from the wounds.  
  
"Devi what are you-" Nny began.  
  
Devi leaned over and started to kiss him again.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Some time later Devi took her lips away from Nny's still, cold ones. He wasn't moving anymore. He'd been dead for a few minutes now. Devi reached into Nny's pocket and grabbed the key. She unlocked the door and picked Nny up in her arms and carried him out of the house.  
  
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A bit later, Devi walked into her own apartment. She carried Nny into the room where she painted and set him on the floor by the painting of Sickness. Then she went into the kitchen and got a knife out of the drawer. She returned to the painting room.  
  
"You killed him," Sickness said, looking impressed.  
  
"But not for you. Well, for you in a way, but not to help you get my sanity, you fucker!" Devi growled. She knelt beside Nny's body and made a shallow cut in his chest, though deep enough to bleed quite a bit. "Say goodbye Sickness!" Devi said.  
  
She dipped a paintbrush into the cut in Nny's chest, covering it with his blood, and then she ran the blood over Sickness.  
  
"What are you doing?" Sickness gasped as the part of her that the blood had touched burned away.  
  
"Freeing myself, you little bitch!" Devi said. She dipped a larger brush into the wound in Nny's chest, and started to paint Sickness furiously.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A few minutes later, Devi slid Nny's body gently into the dumpster behind Taco Smell. Sickness was gone, Johnny was gone, Devi was free.  
  
"And now it's my life to live," Devi said. She saw someone walking by, and pulled a knife out of her pocket.  
  
*/*/*  
  
END.  
  
Look for the sequel someday, OK? 


End file.
